Love Me: Euphoria

It had been too many years.
Far too many.
The fire in the hearth was dying, making shadows in the corners of the room grow bigger and darker. The flames pulled away before the black emptiness would swallow the remains of their far-gone warmth and light.
But he needed no fire, no warmth, no light. It had been ice cold in his soul since that day. That dreadful day his  brother had been taken away. And the memories were hunting him, chasing, invading his dreams and torturing his mind.
Ah, yes... Far too many years since he had seen the blue eyes looking at him with a far greater warmth than any fire could hold, far too many years since he had felt small, soft hands caressing his silky hair.
White strands of hair threw delicate, light shadows on pale cheeks, as Iceland let his head hang down. The shadows were reaching him, he could feel their cold fingers caress his body and soul. Like every night, he let them swallow himself. And like every night, there were bottles scattered around in the dark room, and one in his hand. 'Finlandia Vodka' said the label. He made a snorting sound, a bitter and emotionless one. If that good-for-nothing weakling Finland did nothing else well, at least the booze was great. It made him lose all sense of time, place and reality.
And he could feel it.
The hands caressing his silky, soft hair, massaging his neck and upper back gently.
He could see it.
Those eyes, blue as the sky and the fjords, that hair, like the finest grain, and that smile – like a small sun, lighting up his days.
Yes.
He could see him.
"Noregur" he breathed, leaning back in the big chair, imagining warm arms around him. And again, suddenly, he was young, holding his eyes closed as big brother took care of him. He could hear the silent lullaby.
Crash.
Suddenly, it was all broken.
As the bottle slipped from his relaxed hand and shattered to the floor, his pictures and feelings were gone. Brother. Where was he? Brother- Noregur- where did he go- come back, please-
He didn't realize he was talking aloud, as he rushed up from the chair, stumbled on the broken glass and fell down. He felt warm blood on his elbow, knee and palms. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Brother. Big brother. He had to get him back.
He had to.
Had to.
Clumsily he threw himself towards a big, wooden drawer. The shadows were trying to reach him, they told him bad things. Lies. Dirty lies about Noregur.
They said he wasn't here.
They told him he had gone away.
Away, far away, forever.
But he knew that it wasn't true. It wasn't, of course it wasn't. Noregur would never leave him, never. They would always be together. Because they loved each other. They were brothers. And more. Much more. He loved Noregur, he really did. Big brother was his life.
His angel.
And as the small, heart-shaped pill made its way down his throat, he screamed. He fell to the floor and buried his face into his hands, screaming, tears pouring from his eyes. His hands were shaking, and he didn't know why. The shaking wouldn't stop. They wouldn't leave him alone, the shadows, the lies. They said Noregur wasn't there.
But they were wrong!
Because he could feel him, he could hear the footsteps rushing in.
And eyes not seeing anything but what was true to them, he smiled, brother's warm smile making him happy as ever. He laid down to rest his head on big brother's lap, and he loved the feeling of soft hands embracing his cold face.
And he sung. An old, Norwegian lullaby. He knew the words, Noregur had sung it to him many times before. But for some reason he didn't remember all of the words. Although it had been only a day from when brother had sung it to him. His voice was ragged and hoarse from screaming, but he still sung, a childish smile on his face.
"Always together" he whispered "Noregur."
Somehow, he couldn't understand why the tears wouldn't stop.